A Difficult 2023 | Life Rant

I wrote this a few days before 2023 ended.

I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING is falling apart. I’m a stay-at-home dad. I take care of my 3 children while my wife works. I drive her to work, homeschool our kids, and take care of things in the house. We’re introverts. We like to stay inside, draw, read, watch anime, TV shows, and play video games.

WE MOVED BACK IN with my parents over a year ago because my wife’s brother was suffering from terminal cancer.

We wouldn’t be able to juggle rent and bills and also be able to visit him. So we decided to move in with my parents for a bit so we could financially be able to travel and visit him. I didn’t think it was a good idea, because I do not get along with my parents, especially my dad. But it was that, or not visit my wife’s brother.

So we made a decision and moved in and visited my wife’s brother in spring 2022. He passed away in the middle of 2023.

I DON’T GET ALONG with my dad. I never have. He’s an extrovert, loves the outdoors, hates staying inside, isn’t creative, and loves football. My mom is the same way. You know. He has always belittled me and told me everything that I am doing is wrong. He was abusive verbally and physically. As a kid, he told me that I was wrong to draw and write all the time and that I needed to go outside, play football, or play a sport.

And now, as an adult, he still doesn’t agree with how I raise my kids, or how me and my wife have decided to live our life. So he is constantly irritated, in a bad mood, and poking, and criticizing not only me but my wife, and my kids. I always try to be respectful, and keep things civil. Even when he is constantly threatening and putting me down.

Just like when I was a kid, nothing has changed even as an adult.

BUT I’VE KEPT THE PEACE. At least tried to. Smiled, said yes to whatever he wanted, and just did whatever I could to stay on dad’s good side because my parents decided to offer us the house. They’re retired and planning to travel in their RV. My parents offered the house to the rest of my siblings, but they all turned it down so they finally offered it to me and my wife.

The only rule was that they wanted us to maintain the house and sweep and rake the front and back yard. Not too hard. However, my youngest brother, his wife, and his 3 kids also live here. They leave a mess everywhere in the house and my dad doesn’t expect them to clean it up.

He expects me to clean their mess. See, my brother works full time and his wife homeschools the kids. Whereas my wife works full time, and I homeschool and raise our kids. My brother is doing what a man is supposed to do, so his family doesn’t need to clean up.

I got frustrated cause I would clean, but the house was constantly dirty because my parents and my brother’s family would always be making a mess and not cleaning. I’ve talked to my brother several times, and he always promises to start cleaning but never has.

LONG STORY SHORT, my wife was dealing with an a##hole micromanaging supervisor, and it got so bad that she had to talk to the head boss. The supervisor backed off, but they changed her hours, cut her hours, then changed the times of day, and it threw us for a loop, sleep-wise.

My dad came out the following day, upset that the leaves weren’t raked. I got upset and told him I’d get to it, and asked why no one else was helping. And he just said my brother works 40 hours. And I was like but it’s their mess. I’ll rake and everything, just ask him and his family to clean up. We got into a very heated argument.

He wants us out by February 2024. We’re worried that we won’t be able to find a place to stay in that timeframe. We’re scared about money and finances.

I’m so worn out, angry, pissed off, and literally on the edge. It’s in the Lord’s hands, though. All I can do is pray, wait, and keep moving forward.

Here’s to 2024. Happy New Year all. May your 2024 be blessed, prosperous, and full of joy, love, and breakthroughs. We got this. You got this. Stay safe, be well, take care, and God bless. You rock.